Practical things you can do in the moment to cope with urges to self-harm
If you have recently self-harmed, please access appropriate medical care as soon as possible. Some injuries can become infected and cause more damage than you might think if they are left untreated. If you’re unable to access a doctor or hospital, you can contact HealthDirect’s 24/7 Health Advice Line to speak to a registered nurse on 1800 022 222. You can also contact Kids Helpline here, or Lifeline at any time.
If you struggle with self-harm, it can be challenging to find effective and immediate ways to manage the urge to hurt yourself. Here are some practical strategies and techniques that you can use to help you feel more in control, and to manage your emotions in the moment.
- Distract yourself
It may sound silly that by ‘distracting yourself’ you can avoid self-harming, but we know that the urge to self-harm is often a temporary feeling. If you can get through the initial impulse to self-harm, the desire may fade relatively quickly.
Try to distract yourself with a healthy activity, such as taking a walk, listening to music, or talking to a friend. Tell yourself you’ll wait 10 minutes to see if the urge passes. If, after 10 minutes, you still feel the urge to harm yourself, try to wait for another 10 minutes, and so on. You may even find another way to cope while you wait for the time to pass.
- Use a safer alternative
- Create a safety plan
- Reach out for support
- Practice relaxation techniques
- Use grounding techniques
Grounding techniques can help you reduce the intensity of overwhelming emotions by helping you get out of your head by returning your attention to the world around you. The grounding activities below are meant to give you relief by taking your focus off the pain you’re experiencing:
- Use the 5-4-3-2-1 method. Use your 5 senses to focus your attention away from your thoughts and feelings, and back to the present. Look around and name: five things you can see, four things you can feel, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste.
- Find an item in your immediate environment and pick it up. Try to describe it in as much detail as possible using as many of your senses as you can.
- Smell something with a strong scent, such as a cup of tea, a scented candle, herbs, or soap. As you inhale, try to describe what you can smell: is the scent sweet, fruity, floral, or something else?
- Come up with a category, such as cars or animals and try to mentally list as many things that fit into that category as you can
- Imagine leaving your painful feelings behind. Visualise yourself watching your emotions as if they were being broadcast on TV. Then, visualise yourself grabbing the remote and switching channels or lowering the volume.
- Write about your feelings
- Use positive self-talk
- Create a calming environment
- Avoid alcohol and other drugs
- Practice self-care
While these short-term strategies can be helpful for some people, they may not work for everyone. It's okay if you haven't found the right approach for you yet. Recovery is a process, and it can take time to find the tools and resources that work best for you.
If you're struggling, it's important to reach out for support and not try to face this alone. Reaching out to someone about self-harm can be scary, but it can also be a step towards getting the support you need. If you don't feel comfortable talking to someone you know, consider reaching out to a mental health professional, or Lifeline.
Remember that you are not alone in your struggle. Surround yourself with people who care about you and who can help you when you're struggling. Focus on taking small steps forward, celebrating your progress, and being patient with yourself along the way. With patience, perseverance, and the right support, you can overcome self-harm and learn to live a happy, healthy life.
