Long-term strategies for managing urges to self-harm
If you have relied on self-harm as your go-to coping tool for a long time, it can be hard to imagine ever stopping it. But many people who have used self-harm in the past have learned better ways to cope, and you can too.
Besides learning new coping tools, it’s also important to address any deeper emotional problems you may be struggling with. Treating the root cause of self-harm will help you heal fully and prevent you from self-harming again in the future.
Here are some strategies that may be helpful.
Supporting Yourself
- Understand your personal patterns of self-harm
The first step to stopping self-harm is to become more aware of it, including what triggers it. The next time you feel the urge to harm yourself, try this:
- In a journal or on your phone, note down what was going on just before you had the urge to harm yourself
- What were you thinking and feeling when you felt the urge? Note down any thoughts, feelings, or bodily sensations you experienced.
- Then, look for any links between the situation, and the feelings, bodily sensations, and thoughts that came up. Did some situation trigger your thoughts, feelings and bodily sensations? Do you see any link between what you were thinking and how you felt?
Try this activity for at least a week and see if any patterns come up. Maybe staying home alone for long periods of time is a trigger for you, or maybe it’s scrolling through social media. Triggers are personal, so what might give you the urge to self-harm won’t be the same for someone else.
When you know your triggers, you can choose to respond or prepare for them better. For example, if you know that staying home alone for long periods of time is a trigger, you can plan more activities with friends. If you know that scrolling through social media is a trigger, you can limit your social media time or take a complete social media detox. If a relationship with a friend is encouraging you to self-harm, then perhaps consider stepping back from the relationship, or set boundaries that healthier for your wellbeing.
It can be hard to figure out your triggers on your own, so don’t be discouraged if you battle with this activity. If you need more help, it’s worth looking into therapy. A psychologist will work closely with you to help you become more self-aware.
- Practice self-care
- Develop healthy relationships
- Address substance use
- Support groups
“I thought that I would never be able to get better, but I gradually did. And it got brighter for me.”
Getting help from others
- Access therapy
Working with a psychologist who has experience in treating self-harm can be a helpful way to explore the underlying emotional issues that may be contributing to your behaviour. Here is what you should expect from your therapy:
- A safe and supportive environment: A psychologist should create a safe and supportive environment where you can explore your feelings without judgement.
- A personalised treatment plan: A psychologist should work with you to develop a personalised treatment plan that addresses your unique needs and challenges.
- Identification of triggers and coping strategies: A psychologist should work with you to identify the triggers that may be contributing to your self-harm behaviour and help you develop coping strategies to manage those triggers
- Emotional regulation skills: A psychologist should help you develop skills to regulate your emotions and manage distressing feelings in a healthy way
- Addressing underlying issues: A psychologist should help you identify and address any underlying mental health issues, such as depression or anxiety, that may be contributing to your self-harm behaviour
- Supportive care: A psychologist should provide supportive care throughout your treatment and help you build a support network of family and friends who can provide additional support.
Remember, working with a psychologist for self-harm requires patience and a willingness to be open and honest about your feelings. It's important to find a psychologist you feel comfortable with and who has experience in treating self-harm. With time and support, it's possible to manage self-harm and develop healthier ways of coping with difficult emotions.
- Reach out to a trusted friend or relative
It's important to acknowledge that everyone's experience with self-harm is unique, and what works for one person may not work for another. That's why researchers and mental health professionals are continually exploring new strategies and approaches to help individuals overcome self-harm.
If you feel discouraged by the long-term strategies you've tried, or these don’t resonate with you right now, remember that there are always new strategies and techniques being developed that could be helpful for you. And know that there are people around you who care about you and want to support you.
By reaching out for support, and continuing to explore different approaches, you can find the tools that work best for you. Focus on taking small steps forward, celebrating your progress, and being patient with yourself along the way. Remember that you are strong, and with the right support and tools, you can overcome self-harm and live a happy and healthy life.
