Coping with grief and loss

You’ve probably heard grieving referred to as a process. This is because it takes time and work to understand the different thoughts and feelings that can come up at any time after you’ve experienced loss.

It’s natural to want to avoid the painful parts or to push your feelings aside, but it’s important to face your emotions and treat yourself with kindness as you adapt to a new reality.

Grief doesn’t follow a straight path. Some days, you might feel like you’re managing, while on other days, it could seem really overwhelming. Everyone grieves in their own ways and it’s okay to take it one day at a time.

Even if it seems hard to imagine right now, with time and support, you can start to feel more like yourself again - which you deserve.

On this page, you’ll find information on:

• Tips for processing grief and accepting loss
• Using the TEAR grieving process to work through grief
• Practical strategies for managing emotions
• The importance of prioritising and practising self-care.

Scroll down to learn more.

Regardless of when, where, or how it happens, there is no right or wrong way to grieve. There are, though, more helpful and less helpful ways to process and cope with your loss.

Below, we’ve listed some things you can do to make the grieving process a bit more manageable.

While grieving is a deeply personal and non-linear process that looks really different for everyone, the TEAR grieving process has been effective for many people and can provide valuable support in navigating through grief and finding a path forward.

Below, you can learn more about how to use prompts from TEAR to process your grief and accept your loss.

The first step is accepting the loss is real, which can be one of the hardest parts.

• Allow yourself to revisit it: It’s normal to forget, deny, or feel like what’s happened is not real. You may need to remind yourself, again and again, that the person or thing is really gone.
• Be patient with your feelings: You don’t need to accept it all at once. You might understand the loss has happened, but it can take time for your emotions to catch up.

Grieving is painful, but avoiding the pain can prolong it. Let yourself feel it fully, in whatever way it comes.

• Express your emotions: Whether it’s through talking, crying, writing, or just sitting in silence, let your feelings out.
• Do it in your own way: Remember, everyone experiences grief differently. Take your time, and be gentle with yourself as you work through the pain in your own way.

Life can feel really different after a loss. As you adapt with changes, you might have to adjust to new roles, cope with feeling emotionally empty, or navigate social changes.

• Accept that it’s a gradual process: Adjusting isn’t quick or easy and there will be ups and downs. You may have moments of progress followed by setbacks. Be kind to yourself and remember, this is normal. You don’t need to rush.
• Find your rhythm: The adjustment is deeply personal. Don’t expect to have everything figured out right away - just move at your own pace.

Moving forward doesn’t mean forgetting. You can still carry the memories while adapting to a new reality.

• Create a new normal while honouring the past: Find ways to keep the person or thing you lost as part of your life, whether it’s through rituals, keepsakes, or memories. For example, you might light a candle in their honour on special days or continue traditions they loved. This allows you to maintain a connection while moving forward.

Throughout your grief journey, it’s normal to experience a wide range of emotions. Some may be easier to manage, while others might feel unexpected, overwhelming, or uncomfortable.

In some cases, grief can lead to feelings of depression, anxiety, or panic attacks. When difficult emotions arise, or when you’re feeling deeply sad, stressed, anxious, or panicked, it can be helpful to have coping strategies like the ones listed below to rely on.

Keep in mind that what works for someone else might not work for you, and that’s okay. The key is to keep experimenting until you find what feels right.

Self-care involves treating yourself with the same kindness and attention you would offer a loved one. This might mean taking time to enjoy a cup of tea and read a book, or it might mean saying no to an event so you can get good sleep.

When you’re feeling overwhelmed, it can be challenging to know how to care for yourself in the moment. Having a pre-prepared self-care box can help. If it feels right for you, you might include items that bring you comfort or help you feel connected to who or what you’ve lost. For example, you could have a favourite photo, a letter, or a meaningful piece of writing.

Self-care also involves setting boundaries with people or situations that may intensify your grief. This could involve distancing yourself from people who are dismissive of your feelings or avoiding environments that bring painful memories to the surface.

It’s okay to prioritise your emotional wellbeing by saying no to social gatherings, conversations, or activities that feel too overwhelming. It's also okay to reach out for support.

You can call Griefline between 8am and 8pm (AEST) to talk about what you’re going through. You can also find and offer peer support in Griefline's Online Forums.

Remember, everyone’s grief journey is different, and finding coping strategies that work for you on the different steps of your journey is an important part of your healing process. While you might feel alone in your pain, there are people who want to listen and help.