Supporting someone experiencing depression
It can be hard to watch someone you care about experience depression. You might feel unsure how to help, especially if the other person finds it difficult to open up or put their feelings into words.
While depression looks different for everyone, some people withdraw or become distant, while others might seem overwhelmed, angry, or stuck in negative thoughts.
This page offers practical ways to start conversations, offer meaningful support, and care for your own wellbeing along the way.
Tips for starting a conversation
It’s not always easy to know what to say when someone you care about is struggling with depression. You might worry about saying the wrong thing or feel unsure how to bring up your concerns. But even a simple check-in can remind the other person they’re not alone and that you care.
Every conversation is different, but small things can help make it feel more comfortable for both of you.
Below, you can explore tips for starting a conversation with someone you're concerned about.
- Choose the right moment
Finding the right time and space can help the other person feel more comfortable opening up.
- Pick a calm, relaxed moment: Bringing up your concerns during a stressful or busy time might not help. Instead, wait for a time when they seem more at ease like during a meal or while walking.
- Find a comfortable space: A familiar, quiet place can help them feel more comfortable. Side-by-side conversations while driving, cooking, or walking can feel less intense than sitting face-to-face.
- Respect their privacy: Start the conversation in private to avoid putting them on the spot or making them feel pressured to respond.
If they’re not ready to talk, that’s okay. What matters most is letting them know you’re there whenever they are. A gentle reminder like, ‘I’m here when you feel like talking,’ can be reassuring without adding pressure.
- Respond with C.A.R.E.
- Focus on empathy, not sympathy
Supporting a child or young person experiencing depression
When a child or young person is struggling with depression, it can be harder for them to explain what they’re going through.
Instead of talking about how they feel, their depression might show up as changes in behaviour like withdrawing, becoming more irritable, or losing interest in activities they once enjoyed.
How you might help:
- Start an open conversation: Ask how they’ve been feeling. You might say, ‘I’ve noticed you’ve been a bit quieter lately. How have things been for you?’
- Validate their experience: Let them know their feelings are valid. You might say, ‘That sounds really hard. I’m here if you want to talk about it.’
- Encourage small, manageable activities: If they feel stuck, suggest something low-pressure like going for a short walk or cooking together.
- Help them connect with professional support: If they’re open to it, offer to help them find resources or set up an appointment with a GP or counselor.
Sometimes, kids and young people aren’t ready to open up, and that’s okay. The most important thing is to let them know you’re there whenever they are.
You can read more about how to talk to a child or young person about their mental health in our support guide below.
Practical ideas for offering support
Depression can make everyday tasks feel overwhelming. Things like cooking, cleaning, or running errands can take enormous effort and feel impossible to manage. Even simple routines may fall away when energy is low, and motivation is hard to find.
Practical support can ease some of the mental load and create room for the person to focus on their wellbeing. There are lots of small ways you can help, whether it’s tackling day-to-day tasks, gently encouraging self-care, or supporting them with appointments.
- Help with household tasks and errands
You can offer to:
- Cook a meal or drop off pre-made meals
- Help tidy up their home, do the dishes, or tackle a small organising task
- Walk their dog or care for their pets
- Help mind their kids or drive them to school/activities
- Pick up groceries or prescriptions
- Help fill in and send important paperwork
- Shop for everyday essentials
- Gently encourage self-care
You can:
- Invite the other person for a short walk or to stretch together. ‘Want to take a quick walk around the block?’ can feel more inviting than urging exercise.
- Ensure they're getting enough to eat by offering to cook together or organising pre-made meals
- Encourage moments of rest without focusing on how much the other person is sleeping. Watching a calming show together can be a gentle way to unwind. Click here to learn more about the importance of sleep for mental health.
- Suggest light, low-pressure activities like grabbing a coffee or watching a movie.
- Support them with appointments
You can offer to:
- Help them research mental health professionals or book an appointment with their GP
- Talk to them about getting a Mental Health Treatment Plan from their GP
- Sit with them while they make the call, if that feels easier for them
- Offer to drive them to appointments or wait with them if they feel anxious about going alone.
Sometimes practical help is about being there in the background as a supportive presence. Sitting with them during a difficult day or offering to watch a comforting show together can make them feel less alone, even without words.
Even small, thoughtful gestures can have a big impact. They remind the other person they’re not alone and that you care without the pressure for them to act or respond in a particular way.
Looking after yourself and your own mental health
Supporting someone experiencing depression often requires a lot of mental and physical energy. When someone you care about is struggling, it’s natural to want to do everything you can to help. You might feel a responsibility to be there for them at all times, especially if they’re leaning on you for connection and comfort. But when your focus is solely on their needs, it’s easy to overlook your own, leaving you feeling drained, overwhelmed, or even resentful.
That’s why caring for your own wellbeing is just as important. Taking time to rest and recharge isn’t selfish. It’s what allows you to keep showing up with steady, compassionate support. When you look after yourself, you’ll have more energy and patience to offer meaningful help without burning out.
Below, you can find tips and ideas for taking care of your wellbeing as a carer.
- Set healthy boundaries
Boundaries protect your energy and help ensure that the care you’re offering is sustainable. It’s okay to say no sometimes and to recognise your own limits. In fact, setting boundaries can empower the other person to build resilience and explore other sources of support.
- Be clear about what you can offer: Let the other person know what kind of support you can give. You might say, ‘I really want to support you, but I also need some time to recharge. How about we check in tomorrow?’
- Stick to your boundaries with kindness: You can be both firm and compassionate. For example, ‘I can’t talk right now, but I’d love to catch up later this week.’
- Know it’s okay to take a step back: If things feel too heavy, it’s okay to pause and ask for help from others in their support network. You’re not responsible for carrying everything on your own.
Healthy boundaries aren’t about shutting someone out. They’re about ensuring you can show up fully when you’re able to help.
Click here to learn more tips for building and maintaining healthy relationships.
- Make space for your feelings
- Take time to recharge
Supporting someone through depression is a journey. You won’t always have the perfect response, and that’s okay. What matters most is showing up with care, empathy, and patience while also making space for your own needs along the way.
If it ever feels too heavy, reach out to someone you trust or a support service like Carer Gateway.
You can also always speak with a Lifeline Crisis Supporter. We're here for you 24 hours a day, 7 days a week via 13 11 14, text, and chat.
For more support resources for depression, you can:
- Learn about common causes and feelings and effects of depression
- Find practical strategies to help manage depression right now
- Explore tools, apps, and real stories to help cope with and manage depression
- Connect with a support service for further information, resources, and referrals.
Download our Care Guide for more tips on how to support your loved one through difficult times.
