Supporting someone you care about

Watching someone you care about experience stress can leave you feeling unsure of how to help. Some people might need space, while others want more support but don’t know how to ask for it.

This page offers practical ways to start conversations, provide meaningful support, and look after your own wellbeing along the way. Remember, you don’t have to have all the answers. Jst being there can make a difference.

Tips for starting a conversation

It’s not always easy to know what to say when someone you care about is struggling with stress. You might worry about saying the wrong thing or feel unsure about how to bring it up. But even a simple check-in can be really powerful. Simply knowing someone cares can help ease stress.

Every conversation is different, but small things can help make it feel easier for both of you.

Choose the right moment
If someone is already feeling overwhelmed, caught off guard, or distracted, they might find it harder to open up. Choosing a calm, private moment can help them feel safer and more comfortable sharing how they’re feeling.
- Pick a time when they’re more at ease: Bringing it up when they’re already stressed (like in the middle of a tough day) might not be helpful. Instead, look for a time when they seem more relaxed, such as after work, over a meal, or during a casual activity.
- Consider the location: A quiet, familiar space can help the other person feel more at ease. Talking while walking, driving, or doing something side by side (like cooking or playing a game) can sometimes feel less intense than a direct, face-to-face conversation.
- Respect their privacy: Avoid starting the conversation in front of others, as the other person may feel uncomfortable or pressured. If you’re in a group setting and notice they seem stressed, check in later when you can talk one-on-one.
Remember - it's okay if the other person isn't ready to talk. The most important thing is to let them know you’re there whenever they are.
Ask open-ended questions
Respond with C.A.R.E.
Validate their feelings

Not everyone will be ready to talk straight away, and that’s okay. What’s most important is that the other person knows you’re there.

For more tips, click here to read our support guide on talking to someone about their mental health.

Supporting a child or young person?

Helping a child or young person through stress can feel especially challenging. They may not always have the words to explain what’s going on, and their stress might show up in unexpected ways, like changes in behaviour, trouble sleeping, or becoming more emotional or withdrawn.

You can find tailored advice for supporting a child or young person by clicking here or on the article below.

How to talk to a child or young person you're concerned about

Parents, carers, and trusted adults can play a big role in supporting a child or young person through challenging times. Learn practical tips for starting a conversation and creating a safe space for them to open up.

Helps with

Offering support

12 min read

Practical ideas for offering support

When someone is deeply stressed, even basic tasks can feel overwhelming. Stress can lead to decision-making fatigue, making it harder for them to plan, prioritise, or take action. Offering practical help, especially with small but important tasks, can ease some of that mental load and create space for them to focus on their wellbeing.

Here are some ways you can help:

Help them organise their to-do list: Sit down together and list what’s on their mind. Break it into smaller, manageable steps. Sometimes just writing things down can bring relief. You might say, 'Let’s list everything on your mind and decide what needs to be done first.'
Assist with booking a GP or counselling appointment: Making that first appointment can feel like a mountain to climb when someone is stressed. Offer to help the other person research services or book appointments. You could say, 'Would you like me to sit with you while we book that appointment?'
Prepare meals or snacks: When stress takes over, eating well often becomes an afterthought. Dropping off a ready-made meal or snacks can help ensure the other person is getting the nourishment they need.
Offer to run errands: Everyday tasks like grocery shopping or picking up prescriptions can feel exhausting when someone is stretched thin. Offering to take a few things off their plate can lighten their load.
Be their support buddy: If they’re taking steps toward professional help or trying to build healthier routines, offer to go along for support. Whether it’s joining them for a walk, sitting with them during an appointment, or encouraging a new habit, having someone alongside can make it feel less overwhelming.

Even small acts of support can help someone feel less isolated and more capable of managing what’s in front of them.

How to gently encourage self-care

When someone’s stressed, self-care often falls by the wayside. Little things like sleep, movement, and nourishing meals can make a big difference when it comes to reducing and managing stress.

When encouraging self-care, the key is to keep it light and achievable without making the other person feel pressured.

Here are a few ways you can help:

Suggest moving together: Exercise, especially outdoors, can reduce stress and boost mood. Movement can be anything from a short walk to simple stretches or breathing exercises. You might say, 'Want to go for a short walk? It could help clear your mind.'
Promote rest and relaxation: Sleep plays a huge role in managing stress, but it’s often the first thing to suffer. Encourage the other person to take breaks and unwind. Watching a comforting movie, reading, or listening to calming music can help. Click here to learn more about the importance of sleep for mental health.
Make self-care feel manageable: Instead of focusing on big lifestyle changes, suggest small steps. You can say, 'Have you had a glass of water today?' or 'How about we make something simple to eat?' These small acts can add up.

Self-care for mental health and wellbeing

Self-care is a key way we can protect our mental health and improve our wellbeing. Learn what exactly self-care is and ideas for how you can start practising it.

Looking after your wellbeing as a carer

Supporting someone through stress can be challenging, especially if they become irritable, withdrawn, or overwhelmed. It’s difficult to be on the receiving end of these emotions, even when you understand it’s part of what they’re going through. That’s why it’s so important to care for yourself, too.

Taking time to protect your own mental and emotional wellbeing isn’t selfish - it’s essential. When you look after yourself, you’ll have more energy and patience to offer meaningful support without feeling drained.

Here are some ways you can prioritise your wellbeing:

Set healthy boundaries
Boundaries are a way to care for yourself while staying present for others.
When supporting someone through stress, it’s easy to feel like you have to be available all the time. But constantly giving without setting limits can leave you exhausted and burned out.
- Be clear about what you can offer: Be clear about what you can offer and give yourself permission to step back when you need to recharge. You might say, 'I want to support you, but I need some time to recharge. Let’s check in tomorrow.'
- Know it’s okay to say no: Setting limits doesn’t mean you care any less. It’s a way to ensure you can show up fully when you’re able to help.
- Stick to your boundaries with kindness: You can be firm and compassionate at the same time. For example, 'I can’t talk right now, but I’m happy to catch up later this week.'
Healthy boundaries give both you and the other person space to rest and recover, helping you avoid emotional exhaustion.
Create space for your own feelings
Take breaks when you need them
Focus on what’s manageable

Supporting someone through stress is about being present, offering practical help, and encouraging healthy routines.

But remember - caring for yourself is just as important. By setting boundaries and taking time to rest, you’ll have the strength to continue offering support.

If it ever feels too heavy, you can always reach out to someone you trust or a support service like Carer Gateway.