Supporting someone you care about
Supporting someone who’s experiencing eating challenges (disordered eating) or an eating disorder (ED) can feel overwhelming.
It’s natural to feel a range of emotions like worry, frustration, confusion, guilt, and hopelessness. It’s also natural to not know how to help or what to say. But your presence can make a real difference, especially if you reach out early. Even if it’s not early, taking the step to start a conversation or learn more shows how much you care, and that alone can mean so much.
Keep in mind that the information on this page is for you just as much as it is for the person you’re worried about. Being in any sort of carer role can affect your own mental and emotional wellbeing, which is why it’s so important to prioritise your own needs. When you do, you’re better able to provide meaningful and sustainable support for the person you’re worried about.
Practical ways to offer meaningful support
Supporting someone through eating challenges or an ED isn’t about ‘fixing it’ for them. It’s about being there in a way that feels safe, compassionate, and steady.
Below, you can explore practical ways to offer thoughtful, effective support.
- Reach out with C.A.R.E.
The C.A.R.E. framework, which stands for Connect, Ask, Remind, Empower, offers a simple way to express care, quickly build trust, and safely connect with someone who’s experiencing the distressing emotions that can come with eating challenges and EDs.
To learn more about C.A.R.E. or for more conversation tips, read our guide on how to talk to someone about their mental health.
- Use supportive language
- Empathise without overshadowing
- Help them access professional support
- Pay attention to behaviours with compassion
- Focus on connection, not control
- Offer practical help
- Encourage them to practise self-care
Everyone’s journey is unique, and the type of support they need may differ from what you expect. It’s okay if the person you care about might not be ready to accept help right now. Staying present, respecting where they’re at, and letting them know you’re there is important and can still go a long way.
Sometimes, simply listening without judgement and offering a calm, empathetic presence is enough to provide reassurance.
Equip yourself with knowledge
Taking time to understand what the person you care about might be experiencing can reduce feelings of helplessness and build connection, as well as help you respond to needs with care and empathy.
You can:
- Visit our types of eating challenges and EDs page to better understand how EDs can show up in thoughts, feelings, and behaviours
- Learn more about potential causes of eating challenges and EDs to gain insight into the complex factors that might contribute to their struggles
- Explore resources like Eating Disorders Families Australia (EDFA), which offers free tools, learning materials, and support groups tailored for carers.
- Read tips on talking to someone about their mental health for guidance on starting supportive and compassionate conversations.
- Consider taking Carer Gateway's online program to learn skills to manage stress, improve communication, and protect your mental health and wellbeing as a carer.
By equipping yourself with knowledge, you’re taking an important step toward providing thoughtful, informed support that can make a real difference in their healing.
Recognising the signs of eating challenges and EDs
It’s normal to second-guess yourself when you notice changes in someone’s behaviour or habits, especially when the signs are subtle.
You might wonder if you’re overreacting or whether it’s your place to say something. Eating challenges and EDs can show up in many ways, and everyone’s experience is unique.
Common signs can include:
- Changes in appearance: Shifts in weight, dry skin, or thinning hair
- Avoidance of meals: Making excuses not to eat or skipping meals entirely
- Rigid food rules: Cutting out food groups or frequent talk about diets
Excessive exercise: Continuing to exercise even when tired, unwell, or injured - Social withdrawal: Pulling back from activities or events they used to enjoy
- Negative self-talk: Comments about their body or frequent comparisons to others.
If you’re concerned about a child or teenager, visit our signs and effects of eating challenges and EDs page for age-specific insights.
Tips for looking after your wellbeing as a carer
It’s natural to put your own needs last when you’re focused on someone else, but taking care of yourself is essential to avoid burnout and protect your mental health.
Ways to recharge and stay resilient:
- Connect with your support network: Spend time with friends, family, or a trusted community group. Talking about your feelings can lighten the emotional load.
- Spend time outdoors: A walk in fresh air or quiet moments in nature can help reset your mind and reduce stress
- Pursue hobbies or interests: Engaging in activities that bring you joy or a sense of accomplishment can help you feel more balanced and grounded
- Rest without guilt: Taking time to rest isn’t selfish; it’s necessary. You need it to stay healthy and to continue offering meaningful support. Click here to learn about the importance of sleep and mental health.
You deserve care and kindness just as much as the person you’re supporting. By allowing yourself time to recharge, you’ll show up for them with renewed energy and focus.
Scroll down for more tips on looking after yourself as a carer.
- Acknowledge your emotions
Supporting someone through eating challenges or an ED can bring up a mix of feelings, from hope and love to frustration and worry. These emotions are valid, and it’s important to take time to process them.
Ways to manage your feelings:
- Journaling: Write about your thoughts to help untangle your emotions and gain clarity. Click here for journaling prompts to get started.
- Talking to someone you trust: Share your experiences with a friend, family member, or therapist who can offer perspective and support. Click here to learn tips for talking to someone you trust.
- Practising mindfulness: Spend a few quiet moments focusing on your breath to help manage stress and find calm. Click here to learn how to get started with mindfulness.
- Set healthy boundaries
- Reach out for support
Your presence, patience, and compassion mean so much, even if it doesn’t always feel like enough.
By taking care of yourself, you’re building a foundation of strength that benefits both you and the person you care about. Remember, support isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about showing up, staying consistent, and offering kindness along the way.
