Supporting someone experiencing loneliness or isolation
Watching someone you care about experience loneliness or isolation can be challenging. You might feel unsure how to help, especially if the other person finds it difficult to open up about what they’re going through.
Some people may withdraw further when feeling lonely, while others crave connection but aren’t sure how to ask for it.
This page offers practical ways to start conversations, provide meaningful support, and look after your own wellbeing along the way. With small steps and consistent care, it’s possible to help someone feel more connected and supported.
Tips for starting a conversation
It’s not always easy to know what to say when someone you care about is feeling lonely. You might worry about saying the wrong thing or feel unsure how to bring it up. Even a simple check-in can remind them that someone cares, which can be incredibly powerful.
Every conversation is different, but small things can help it feel easier for both of you.
- Choose the right moment
Finding the right time and space can help the other person feel more comfortable opening up.
- Pick a calm, relaxed moment: Bringing up loneliness when they’re feeling low or distracted might not help. Instead, wait for a time when they seem more at ease like during a meal or while walking.
- Find a comfortable space: A quiet, familiar place can help the other person feel at ease. Side-by-side conversations while driving, cooking, or walking can feel less intense than sitting face-to-face.
- Respect their privacy: Start the conversation in private to avoid putting them on the spot or making them feel pressured.
If the other person isn't ready to talk, that’s okay. What matters most is letting them know you’re there whenever they are. A gentle reminder like, ‘I’m here when you feel like talking,’ can be reassuring without adding pressure.
- Respond out with C.A.R.E.
- Focus on empathy, not sympathy
Supporting a child or young person?
While adults often recognise loneliness as a lack of social connection, young people may not always have the words to explain what they’re feeling. Instead, loneliness can show up in changes in behaviour like withdrawing, becoming more irritable, or spending excessive time on devices.
Technology offers countless ways to stay connected but it can also deepen feelings of isolation, especially for young people. Social media, online gaming, and constant notifications can make it feel like everyone else is more connected, popular, or happier.
For some kids, digital spaces offer a genuine sense of belonging. For others, constant scrolling fuels feelings of exclusion and comparison, leaving them feeling lonelier than ever. It’s not about removing devices altogether but helping them balance online activity with real-world connection.
Here’s how you might try helping
- Start an open conversation: Instead of focusing on device use right away, ask how they’ve been feeling. You might say, ‘I’ve noticed you’ve been spending a lot of time online lately. How are things going with your friends?’
- Explore what their online activity means to them: For many young people, online gaming or social media is a way to connect. Understanding why they’re drawn to it can help you respond with empathy rather than judgement.
- Encourage balance: Suggest activities that bring real-life connection like meeting a friend for a walk, joining a club, or spending time with family. Frame it as an invitation, not a demand: ‘Would you like to go for a walk with me? It might be nice to get out for a bit.’
- Help them identify safe social spaces: If they’re struggling to find connection, help them explore opportunities to meet others who share their interests. Local sports, arts programs, or community groups can be great places to start.
- Be a consistent presence: Knowing they have someone they can rely on makes a big difference. Even small actions like regular check-ins or inviting them to cook or run errands with you can help them feel less alone.
- Model healthy boundaries with technology: Show them what it looks like to take breaks from devices and prioritise real-life connection. You might say, ‘I’m putting my phone down for a bit. Do you want to help me with this project?’ You can click here to learn how to do a digital detox.
- Look for indirect ways to connect: Activities like cooking, walking, or playing a game together can feel less intense than a direct conversation and may encourage them to open up in their own time.
- Keep an eye on changes in behaviour: If they seem increasingly withdrawn, emotional, or distressed, consider reaching out for extra support from a trusted professional or service.
Even the smallest connection (online or offline) can help a young person feel less alone.
Sometimes, kids and young people aren’t ready to open up, even when they’re struggling and that’s okay. What matters most is letting them know you’re there, whenever they are.
Let them know your door is always open. A gentle reminder like, ‘I’m here whenever you feel like talking,’ can help them feel safe and supported.
Click on the article below for more tips on supporting a child or young person you're concerned about.
Practical ideas for offering support
When someone is feeling lonely, even small gestures can make a big difference. Practical help can remind them they’re not alone and show that you care.
Here’s how you might try helping:
- Invite them to join you in simple activities: A short walk, a shared meal, or watching a movie together can help break the isolation
- Check in regularly: Even a brief message like ‘Thinking of you! How’s your day been?’ can be comforting
- Help them connect with others: If they’re ready, you could suggest joining a group or activity they’re interested in or even offer to go with them the first time
- Support them in accessing professional help: If they’re open to it, offer to help them research meet-up groups or attend an appointment with them.
Looking after your wellbeing as a carer
Supporting someone through loneliness can be emotionally demanding. It’s natural to want to be there for them as much as possible, especially if they’re relying on you as a primary source of connection. But constantly being available can leave you feeling drained or even isolated yourself.
Caring for your wellbeing isn’t selfish. It’s essential. When you take time to rest and recharge, you’re better able to offer meaningful and sustainable support.
Below, you can find tips and ideas for protecting your wellbeing as a carer.
- Focus on connection, not 'fixing'
It’s natural to want to ‘fix’ the situation for someone you care about. But remember - your role isn’t to solve everything. Supporting someone through loneliness is about walking alongside them, not carrying everything for them.
- Prioritise what feels manageable: Ask yourself, ‘What’s one small thing I can do to support them today?’ Offering small, practical help like organising a catch-up or preparing a meal, can have a big impact.
- Acknowledge what you’re already doing: Simply being present and listening is meaningful in itself.
- Acknowledge your limits
- Make space for your feelings
- Take time to recharge
Supporting someone through loneliness can be meaningful, but it’s important to care for yourself too. Setting boundaries and taking time to rest helps you recharge, so you can offer steady, compassionate support without burning out.
And if it ever feels too heavy, you can always reach out to someone you trust or a support service like Carer Gateway.
You can also always speak with a Lifeline Crisis Supporter. We're here for you 24 hours a day, 7 days a week via 13 11 14, text, and chat.
For more support resources for loneliness, you can:
- Learn about common causes and signs and effects of loneliness
- Find practical strategies to help manage loneliness right now
- Explore tools, apps, and real stories to help cope with and manage stress
- Connect with a support service for further information, resources, and referrals.
