Practical ways to manage emotional responses and support your wellbeing
Some moments can catch us off guard. A certain smell, a conversation, a memory ... and suddenly we feel overwhelmed, upset, or unsure of what to do next. These intense reactions are often called triggers.
Triggers can affect anyone. They may feel especially strong during times of grief, mental health challenges, or big life changes. You might feel unsettled, anxious, or thrown off balance and not always know why.
This article offers a gentle guide to recognising what might trigger you, how it might affect you, and how to build your own trigger management plan using the Anticipate – Identify – Manage approach.
With practical examples and a downloadable template, it's here to help you feel more prepared and supported, one small, compassionate step at a time.
What are triggers?
A trigger is anything that stirs up distressing thoughts, emotions, or behaviours. It could be a situation, a sound, a memory, or even something small like a change in tone or a busy crowd.
Triggers don’t always seem obvious. They’re shaped by our past experiences and the things we’re already carrying.
Here are a few examples:
- Stress or pressure: Deadlines, conflict, or unexpected changes
- Low self-esteem: Harsh self-talk or feeling like you’re not enough
- Grief: Reminders of someone you’ve lost, like anniversaries, scents, or songs
- Strong emotions: Sadness, anger, loneliness, or guilt that feel hard to express
- Isolation or disconnection: Feeling cut off from others or like no one understands
- Substance exposure: Being around people using alcohol or other drugs
- Social media/ news: Images or stories that create comparison or unease
- Comments from others: Even well-meant words about appearance, achievements, or choices can feel like too much.
Triggers are personal. You don’t have to explain or justify them.
Managing them isn’t about avoiding life; it’s about learning how to respond with care when things feel tough.
What was actually triggered?
Sometimes, what’s most helpful is not just asking 'What happened?', but 'How did it make me feel?'
It might seem like you were upset by the event but underneath it, you may have felt:
- Excluded
- Powerless
- Unheard
- Judged
- Unloved
- Disconnected.
Naming the feeling can help you understand your reaction and figure out what kind of support you might need next.
Try this:
After something feels triggering, ask yourself:
- What happened?
- What did it make me feel?
- What might I need right now?
Even saying something like ‘I felt forgotten and I need connection’ can help you move from confusion to clarity and take a kind step forward.
Tips for creating a trigger management plan
Having a plan gives you something to lean on, kind of like a supportive friend in your back pocket. It can help you feel more steady when emotions take hold.
A trigger management plan can be helpful if you're navigating:
- Feeling overwhelmed or anxious
- Depression or emotional numbness
- Eating and/or body image challenges
- Thoughts of suicide or self-harm
- Substance misuse or urges to return to it
- Panic attacks
- Grief and loss
- Distress before, during, or after a natural disaster
- Psychosis or changes in how you experience the world.
Here’s how to create your own:
- Anticipate: What might trigger me?
Explore what’s been hard for you lately. You can ask yourself:
- Are there specific dates, places, or memories that feel painful?
- Do certain conversations, media, or situations bring up strong emotions?
- Are there physical or emotional cues I’ve noticed before things get difficult?
Write down a few examples, but remember - there’s no right or wrong answer.
- Identify: How might I feel or respond?
When you’re triggered, your body and mind might react in ways that are hard to explain. You might notice:
- Tightness in your chest or trouble breathing
- Racing thoughts or difficulty focusing
- Feelings of anger, shame, fear, or deep sadness
- Urges to withdraw, lash out, or return to unhelpful habits.
Understanding these reactions can help you respond with kindness rather than blame.
- Manage: What can I do to care for myself?
Now create your list of calming tools, supportive people, and helpful reminders. Here are some ideas to get started:
- Grief support: Light a candle, look through photos, write a letter to the person you miss. Click here to learn more coping strategies for grief.
- Grounding exercises: Hold something cold, focus on your senses, or breathe deeply. Click here to explore more grounding techniques.
- Connect with someone: Text a friend, call a support line, or visit someone you feel safe with. Click here for tips on talking to someone you trust.
- Express yourself: Draw, journal, play music, or say what you're feeling out loud. Click here to learn about the benefits of journaling.
- Move your body: Take a short walk, stretch, or sway to calming music
- Distract and soothe: Sip tea, cuddle a pet, watch a favourite show, or play a simple game. You may even want to make a personalised self-care box.
Click here to learn more about the importance of self-care for mental health and wellbeing.
Trigger management plan template
It can help to keep your plan somewhere easy to access. This could be on your phone, in your wallet, or pinned to your fridge.
Click here to download our Trigger Management Plan PDF template.
If you’re grieving, feeling overwhelmed, or just doing your best to make it through the day - you deserve care, not judgement. Every time you take a breath, reach out, or try something different, you're moving toward something softer and more hopeful.
And remember, Lifeline is always here. If you need to speak with someone, you can connect with a crisis supporter 24 hours a day, 7 days a week via 13 11 14, text, and chat.
